I still remember loosing it on tennis court when I was loosing a match. I would scream, yell, throw my racket and I broke fair share of them. The same on friendly soccer games, I would yell on my teammates for not coming back to a defense and so on. I would shout for bad pass. And than, when I lost I was disappointed.
I still remember getting into a conflict with some local Monterey surfers, because of me stealing waves and cross riding and general cockiness attitude of mine while surfing Asilomar. I wanted to show the locals, that I am there and that I am not afraid. And I wasn’t even close being as good as they are. I was simply in their way and I had no business of being there. Not a pretty picture. And quite honestly, I am embarrassed and ashamed of this.
This was 8 years ago. I still play tennis, surf and play occasional soccer game. But I am completely different guy out there. I play fair, don’t scream at anybody and I am very respectful to all the better surfers too. What changed? Part of it might be the fact, that I am getting older. But being in a much better physical and mental shape, yes less sugar helps to keep your nerves on a leash, than I was ever before, different thing is at play here.
You are out there to have a good workout
I do all this sports with a single thought in my mind: To have a good workout. Before, I wanted to win, I wanted to ride the best wave. Not anymore. I don’t care much about that anymore. But the interesting thing is, that I am a way better tennis player, surfer and soccer player than anytime before.
So if you want to improve your game, get better, just relax and tell yourself, that you are doing it for a good workout. And if that is true, than your game will certainly improve. Don’t let your aggressive, winning ego stay in your way. Do it for the work out. This is of course advice mainly for recreational players. Competitive athlete will of course use the different mental model we will talk about some other time.
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